Prelude: Love is equal to tennis, and plainly so. The Tennis scoring system is almost as complex as a romantic relationship. Previously in this series, the initial point of a romantic feeling developing was being discussed. How does it grow? Let’s play…
At what stage should feelings be mutual? That depends on a lot of things like circumstances and personalities involved. It is very common to assume that the feelings always start from the man, but my research shows the opposite. The only difference is that men express their feelings more; many ladies who say nothing about having feelings for someone have actually sored several “loves”. So if these ones are served the ball, they will play a forehand, lob or do many other things to keep the ball in play, they will hang on a bit and eventually fall to “love”.
What do I think about all of this? The culture I was born into makes it culturally wrong for a woman to ‘serve’ attention. A woman who is too open about these things of the heart is often regarded as being immoral, but I disagree. If a woman is certain, she should make some moves. She can still do this without being too direct about it. One way is by putting the man in a mental tight corner by asking him questions. Some men are however very tough and tricky and it is very difficult to hold them down on such topics.
If one loses the first serve, I strongly advise against losing the second. A “Love-30” situation is when one person likes the other much and gives the person special attention, but that supposed partner does not seem to notice it or is ignoring it. One set of people that make this stage of relationship very difficult to determine are the ones I will call Naturally Sweet People, people that easily make friends and have endearing personalities.
“Love-30” is however not a helpless situation, but the individual should ensure that he/she will not be the person to drop the next point. In fact, I will not even talk about a “Love-40” situation because it will get me upset, no one should let it slip so low. If one should lose, then the defeat should not be by a “love” score. The head should go into a relationship first (i.e. reasoning) with the heart being the last investment. In tennis, losing a match by a love score is the most humiliating thing in tennis, it is like being helplessly infatuated or obsessed, like an uncontrollable fall [in love].
In a “Love-30” situation, one needs not just hope, but reassurance is needed for the game to continue. In the absence of this, I would encourage any in this circumstance to feign an injury and pull out of the competition… just maybe, the strength could be reserved for another time where the person faced will be more of a match.
…a “bye” means saying goodbye or calling off the relationship even before it started because you do not want to beg for it…
There is something in tennis that could be looked up to as a solace for affection that is continually not returned. It is interestingly called a “bye”. In tennis terms, “bye” means when a draw or matching of opponents for qualification either has insufficient amount of players or the player pulled out. That causes the player from the first round to automatically move on or advance to the second round.
In relationships, a “bye” means saying goodbye or calling off the relationship even before it started because you do not want to beg for it. It means pulling out or moving on and saving your pride. I will advise that instead of letting the situation slip to “love-40”, take a “bye.”
Love is complex, some ladies take a “bye” because they are afraid of falling and confused that the supposed interested party is not giving the expected attention or not fighting on; so they just disappear and cut off all contact for no stated reason. This is not a good “bye”. In any case, “love-30” is a delicate position in a relationship that the next point won or lost really matters.